Using honest conversations to relieve stress

Why honesty is the secret to breakthroughs in stressful conversations or situations.

 

This post originally appeared in my weekly newsletter – a Sunday morning email that shares mindful moments, health tips, and interesting news to make you smile. Sign up to receive yours, and be sure to share with a friend!

 

Have you ever experienced writer’s block?

 

Maybe you haven’t written a novel or you don’t write blog posts, but chances are, you’ve experienced a form of writer’s block when you have to send an important email, give a presentation to your boss, or have a difficult conversation with a loved one.

 

You know you have something to say or a decision to make, but you can’t seem to figure out how to phrase it. It just seems way to difficult to actually get the words out.

 

And so you wait. The email remains unwritten. You panic when you see your boss. You screen your loved ones calls. And the stress just keeps on building.

 

I’ve recently been using this fabulous strategy to stop the writer’s block and get into action.

 

Are you ready for it? Tell the truth.

 

Seriously. Most often when we’re having a hard time communicating something, we’re trying to edit our words. For some reason, we feel unable to say what we actually want, and so we feel stuck. We don’t want to lie, and we also don’t want to hurt the other party.

 

So start with the truth. This doesn’t have to be to the person’s face. You don’t have to send the email. But write down or say what you would say if there were no consequences. As if no matter what you said or decided, the other person would say “Awesome! I agree.”

 

When you speak that truth, you clarify your most important values and goals in the situation. You start to understand what is truly upsetting or difficult about the situation.

 

Once you’ve spoken your truth: you edit. You ask yourself – what’s reasonable or unreasonable about my reaction? Where would I be willing to compromise? Where can I be more gracious in my words? What are the emotions behind the words?

 

You step back and examine what you truly want, so when you do actually have the conversation, you’re coming from a place of confidence and deliberate speech, not emotion-fueled anger.

 

For me, this has been powerful. It allows me to get out of my head, so I can move situations forward and find resolution. It’s allowing myself to create a first draft that’s imperfect, but that can lead to the best solution.

 

This week’s assignment:

Think back to a recent conversation or difficult email. What was it that you wanted to say, but felt unable to? Write yourself a first draft. Tell your truth. What happened? Leave a comment below or share your experience with other members of our Happy Healthy Human community in our private Facebook group. Your experience might bring you or someone else exactly the inspiration needed to take the next step. Thank you for sharing!

 

  Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day,   samantha attard sig

 

This post originally appeared in my weekly newsletter – a Sunday morning email that shares mindful moments, health tips, and interesting news to make you smile. Sign up to receive yours, and be sure to share with a friend!


samantha attard happy healthy humanSamantha Attard, PhD, is the founder of Happy Healthy Human. Sam is a performance coach, yoga instructor, and makes delicious snacks to help you eat with intention. Learn more here.

 

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