Is it the traffic? A car problem? A bad relationship or a bad boss? Maybe it’s a niggling health symptom, a bad night’s sleep or a spilled coffee.
What’s happening to you today? More importantly: is it actually happening to you?
- Is the rain being specially delivered to ruin your day?
- Did the person in the car *know* they were going to be cutting you off?
- Does your boss lay awake at night thinking “THIS is how I’ll make her feel like crap today.”
- Your headache probably was searching around the world to find the one person it wanted to inhabit, and then it found you, and knew it had a home.
OK. I’m getting a little sarcastic here, but when you lay out your daily issues with that wording, you realize how silly it is to think that all of these things chose you as their personal target.
Much more likely: these things happened. Whether it was a mix of genes, circumstance, serendipity, a mistake, or simply natural causes…they didn’t happen TO you, but they simply happened.
Why this word change is important:
Because our words and thoughts create our reality. When we say “this is happening to me”, we strengthen the pathways of our brain that makes us a victim of the world around us.
When we say “this is happening”, we give ourselves the option and the opportunity to accept, change, or move on.
Think of the last time your complained about something. What was your wording and attitude? Did you feel like these things were happening TO you?
Tony Robbins says that we have to realize that things are happening “for us rather than to us”. An AMAZING reframe. Now, that might be too big of a leap at this stage, so for the time being, let’s try to drop the “to you.” Let things just happen. Because they did. Then, garner your efforts not on being angry about it, but to take action in the situation.
Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day,
Samantha Attard, PhD, is the founder of Happy Healthy Human. Sam is a performance coach and yoga instructor who helps people eat, move, and live with intention. Learn more here.